Humor - Ways To Save Money

I dedicate this list to my German dad that made it through the depression and never lost his love for pinching a penny.

1. Everyone reads the same newspaper. You need at least ten people to participate. Each person pays 1/10th of the cost of the paper. Everyone stays informed and no one is allowed to cut out the ads. Last person on the list takes it to the recycling center. Walk to recycling center to save on gas. Weekend edition only.
2. Save on water bill. One bathtub of water is allowed per week per family. Everyone takes a bath one at a time. Last one in gets first dibs on the clean bath water next week. Any bathing during the week comes from fresh caught water from the sky. After bath, use dirty bath water to flush toilet. Make sure water is soap and wash cloth free (that's another whole story). Use one sink of water for washing dishes and one sink of water for rinsing.
3. Only two squares of toilet paper per person per visit to the bathroom. If you run out there are always magazines next to the potty. For free kleenex, visit the local hospital and reuse the tissue. Just bring home used kleenex, dry out, fold and put back in box.
4. No blenders, mixers, choppers, food processors. What do you think knives and muscles are for.
5. Bake your own bread, muffins, buns, cakes, pies, etc. Get recipes from discarded magazines. Save the good ones and put them in a book. Who do you think you are wanting a premade recipe book.
6. No need for car repairs. Just save those wire coat hangers and tin cans. They can be used for such repairs as mufflers, hood latches, stuffing rust holes.
7. Sew your own clothes. If you have multiple kids and only enough money for material for one coat, let the kids share. Send a different kid to school each day until the coat has been worn by each kid numerous times. Don't leave anyone out. When coat is worn out, weave material into a rug for wiping shoes off when entering house. Worn out sheets, drapes, etc. make good sewing material.
8. Sell all items in your house that uses batteries including rechargeable batteries. What a waste of money to throw all those batteries away. Put money in bank and earn interest. You will have to evaluate if grandpa's pace maker and hearing aid should go on this list.
9. Have a phone booth installed in a central area of the neighborhood have it include internet hookup. Each person is allowed 15 minutes per week. When this is completed shut off phone and internet service to individual houses. This is a great way to save money and learn to share at the same time.
10. For fun and recreation on the weekend, volunteer the family to work at a local farm in exchange for vegetables. Take home everything and can, can, can. Singing is free. Sing away. Make up new songs, get famous, make a lot of money and throw this list away.

While some of these statements start out with a good idea to save money, I have taken them to a whole new level to possibly add just a little humor to the whole idea of trying to save money.