Humor - Kapers in the Kitchen - Episode #1

You would think now that I am 53, I would be able to cook the basics. Well, I can; but every now and then we get kitchen surprise.

My sister and her daughter (my niece) came up to visit yesterday.

I decided it was much better to make a homemade breakfast for us. I washed the potatoes and grated them with a hand grater. I grated about eight large potatoes and that is not easy work when you do this by hand. I would use my handy-dandy food processor but I can't find the attachment that you need to use with the flat blades. What is that saying about a place for everything and everything in its place. Well, it's somewhere! It's just a matter of finding out where somewhere is! Since I have all my cupboards and drawers labeled in the kitchen, you think I would be able to find it!

I rinsed the potatoes to get the starch off of them and soaked them in water so they wouldn't turn brown before frying. I got out the BIG FRYING PAN and put some coconut oil in the pan to get hot. By the way if my doctor ever reads this, coconut oil is supposed to be the healthy choice (I buy organic) and you can heat it at higher temperatures when cooking. In the meantime, my sister and I started discussing the snowmen that I have on the shelves over the windows and I forgot about the pan on the stove.

All of a sudden I remembered that I was cooking. I ran out to the kitchen to find the pan smoking like crazy. The whole house filled with white-gray smoke in a matter of seconds and my eyes were really burning. So much for that tropical feeling you get from the coconut oil. I lifted the pan off the burner and stood in the middle of the kitchen not knowing what to do. I didn't want to put that hot pan on the stove in a cooler spot because I was afraid the heat from the pan would crack the glass stove top. I then considered getting out a potholder but I didn't want to ruin my pretty potholders. I then looked at the sink which was full of dishes. I didn't want to pour the hot coconut oil down the garbage disposal side for fear it would wreck the disposal by putting the hot grease down the drain. I at least remembered that you don't put out a grease fire with water, because when the water hits the grease, it magnifies the fire. The grease starts flying from the pan and you will get burned.

I got a wonderful idea (some would call it a BRAIN STORM). I would open the side door off the kitchen and put the pan out in the snow to cool it down.

My sister came around the corner just as I was opening the door and the fresh air hit that hot pan. Suddenly the pan burst out into flames. I guess I "fanned the fire." Now flames were shooting out the sides of the pan and at least two feet straight up in the air. It was a good thing that the handle was long. My sister yelled where's the pan cover. The cover was in the dish drainer under a bunch of other dishes. I tried to direct her to it. She was tossing stuff out of the dish drainer at break-neck speed. She found the cover and slapped it on top of the pan. I guess if I had used the S.H.E. method (see previous blog) the cover would have been put away.

Now this is where the science lesson kicks in. I learned this hands-on at home. You might say that this was my "homeschooling" lesson for the day. My sister then started to tell me the principal of drop and roll when you have a fire. I told her that I was not the one on fire and that I didn't think it would help for me to drop and roll with a flaming pan in my hand. She looked at me and said, you drop and roll to smother the fire and cut off it's air supply if you are on fire. Then she looked at me and said that's why you put the cover on the pan, you stop the air from getting to the flames in the pan. THE PRINCIPAL IS CUT OFF THE AIR SUPPLY.

Once the flames were out I did put the pan gently outside on the cement with the cover still on it. We then had to open all the doors and windows to get the smoke out and let fresh air in.

After the smoke cleared and the pan cooled down, I cleaned out the pan and we proceeded on with breakfast, which did turn out very well. We are part Macedonian so my sister started laughing and saying OOOMMMPPPAAAAAAHHHHH! That is what they say in a Greek restaurant when making a flaming cheese dish called Saganaki. When the cheese catches on fire in the pan before it is served, the waiter exclaims, "OOOMMMPPPAAAAAAHHHHH!

Before ever cooking with grease, you may want to visit this web site to know how to handle the unexpected. Go to for information on how to work with grease fires. I was lucky to have my sister there to help, but you have the web site. Go bravely into the world of cooking prepared for the unknown!

I know most people bless the food when they are sitting at the table beginning to eat. I have found that blessing the food before I prepare it is much more effective in my case.

No comments:

Post a Comment