Social Issues - Why Are We Fighting?

This is not an easy story to relate but after what I experienced yesterday, I feel that I must put this in writing. I grew up in a household of constant fighting. I do not remember many positive words that were spoken from us or by us. I remember one time in my teens being struck by the fact that everything was always so negative. I wondered why but could not figure it out.

There was so much division in our family that when I moved out to be on my own, my first thought when I left was that I would not be able to be there to defend myself everyday anymore and that I would not be able to stop the hate from coming at me. What a terrible thing to think as you leave the place that you grew up. My sisters and I fought a lot. There was so much anger and hurt that heaped up over the years that it was very hard to communicate. Still, deep down inside I still loved my parents and my sisters so much.

I must explain something at this point. When I say sisters, there is a division between us in age. The first three of us (including me as oldest sister) were all born very close together. We are approximately each a year apart in birth. The anger toward one another was between us older three girs. Then came a large gap and our youngest sister was born approximately nine to ten years after us. She was born handicapped. She has Down's Syndrome, her ear drums were deformed, her eyes do not work properly, she had problems with her heart, etc. When she was born in the 1960's, mom was advised to put her in an institution and tell the family that she died. The doctors were not even kind enough to wait and tell both of my parents at the same time.

Mom did not take the doctor's advice. Our sister came home and we all took care of this sister who the world would look at and say, "poor child what worth can she have to society." You see she did not walk until well after two years old. She could not see well and she does not talk. You would think that she would be a big burden to our family and in many ways she was, but she has also been a tremendous blessing.

Over the years, as us older three girls have lived our lives and gone through many joys and trials, we all began to follow God (separately) and now have unity in our family. We all have our own children, responsibilities and trials. Our parents have passed on and we could not give our youngest sister the care that she needed. She now lives in a group home and has the care she needs. We have really worked hard amongst ourselves to work together, love one another, and turn a blind eye on each others shortcomings. We are bone honest with one another and the division and strife has turned to joy and deep love for each other. We have established proper boundaries and we all respect each others points of view. We could point out every flaw and sometimes do in jest but we mostly dwell on each others strengths. There are no more calls from mom pitting one against the other. There is only peace.

Yesterday, us three older girls went to visit our younger sister who is now in a group home. How much joy there was as we all shared with our sister's caregivers stories and memories of growing up (the good things). There is no more hate and anger just deep love and laughter.This younger sister is in her mid-forties. She still does not talk, her eyes still are not good, she still has Down's Syndrome. These are also things that she still has, she laughs with the innocence of a child, she joys in the little things in her life like chocolate pudding and swinging on a swing, she helps around the group home and in workshop and has some very special friends and people who care for her. No, her life is not perfect. She is on a two-year old level, but she has taught us that all the junk in life and all of our stands for or against an issue is all so useless in the long run. What is really most important in life is to love one another. As children, our grandmother would say, "Little children, love each other!" That says it all.

I am so thankful that there are people who love our sister so much that they think of her as their own child as they care for her because we could not. How great a love for a child that some may think is unlovable because of handicaps, etc. Are we who are supposed to be "normal" really grateful for all those in our lives and do we celebrate their existence or do we miss all the joy and love because of strife and division.

My sisters and I have lost a lot of time because of strife and division. I don't plan to lose one more minute to it ever again. What a joy it was to be all together working and helping one another and all concerned for that little sister that so many would think is unlovable but that we love so much.

I love to meditate on the following:

I pray that God would give all of us Shalom.(*See definition of Shalom from Strong's Concordance at end of article) While this word does mean peace, it means a whole lot more than that.

I also pray Romans 15:5-7 from the Amplified version and Psalm 133:1-3 from the King James Version. You can do the same in your life. If you don't have these Bibles, you can go to and look Romans 15:5-7 up in the Amplified Version of the Bible and then look up Psalm 133:1-3 in the King James Version of the Bible. Put your name and the name(s) of the person(s) you have conflict with in these verses and say them outloud. Say them as many times as it takes so that peace (shalom) is cemented in your heart. This will start to break the barriers down and chase conflict out. Before long you will wonder what in the world got you to fighting in the first place. Remember that we do not war against flesh and blood! The person you are having the conflict with is flesh and blood and so are you. Kick the enemy (demons) out with the sword of truth (God's Word) and move forward in victory.

I have not laid all the verses out for your easy consumption so that you could just read it on this blog. You must look for them yourself. You have to do your part. As you look these verses up and put your names in them and speak them, you will have planted, grown, and harvested your own crop of peace. May your harvest be GREAT as ours is and continues to be!
*Shalom - shâlôm shâlôm
shaw-lome', shaw-lome'
From H7999; safe, that is, (figuratively) well, happy, friendly; also (abstractly) welfare, that is, health, prosperity, peace: - X do, familiar, X fare, favour, + friend, X greet, (good) health, (X perfect, such as be at) peace (-able, -ably), prosper (-ity, -ous), rest, safe (-ly), salute, welfare, (X all is, be) well, X wholly. (Taken from Strong's Concordance)

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