Dealing With Loss

Sometimes the unexpected bombs that hit us in life can leave us so wounded but after the initial shock and healing, I have found that there is a whole different part of life that I never considered.

After losing three children in my life during pregnancy (the worst being the last because I carried the baby to full term), I talked with a medical insurance lady that shared with me that she had taken three babies to term and only the fourth survived. She blew me out of the water with her kindness and peace. It was then that I realized that it was okay to grieve but that I needed to help others in this area when I was ready even though I really did not want to. There were many others that were there for me during this time that really helped me and my family in the healing process. I have written about those people in other articles. It all came together to turn me into a different direction in my life.

This girl at the insurance agency could relate to me because she had been through it. I suddenly saw someone who had survived and it gave me new hope. She knew what it was like because she had gone through it. Soon after that I visited our son's grave and there was a young girl several markers down weeping and sobbing. How it breaks my heart to see the grief of a parent who has lost a child. No matter how many children we have (I do have another), it does not replace the child or children gone. I quietly went over to her and listened to her story. I wept with her and encouraged her to go home and take care of her other children and husband (so hard to do after such a thing). We then just embraced each other and resolved to move forward but to never forget our precious children. I have not seen her since that time when I visit the cemetery.

Every time I am given the opportunity to help someone else now, I know that I have been given a special gift to care for a wound that has cut deep into the fiber of a parent and in this imperfect world there is such a need for an outpouring of love to help heal each others' wounds and go on. I wish my compassion had come in a different way but it is what it is. It was through this that deep anger, hurt, and disappointment have been replaced in my life with love, healing, and eternal hope. I am by no means perfect, just set on a different path.


  1. Sometimes people are so careless with their speech. They said something like "oh, you don't look like you in mourning." even when I told them I just back from compassionate leave.
    Sometimes the wound is so deep that facial expression cannot express.

  2. Hello Scheng, I am so sad for your loss. I am even sadder that someone would say such a cruel thing. From my heart to yours I send you the biggest hug I can with tears.