Many years ago, I had a friend whose mate left them. This friend had children and I was so mad for my friend and their children.
This friend, though, really taught me something important during this time. My friend asked me to never say anything negative about their ex-mate because the children were a part of both of them. I never thought of it that way. At first I just wanted to see this person hurt as much as they hurt the people I loved.
Now many years later, my opinion has not changed too much about the whole situation but I am glad that my friend had the foresight to speak only well of the ex-mate. The children, while hurt in many ways, always knew it was okay to love both parents even if there were really bad disagreements.
So, the next time you are tempted to take sides, remember the children. They cannot take sides. They are a whole from two different people and you are hurting them whether they heard your opinion or not.
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