Why does this happen? This usually happens because at some time in our past we have found that we fall short in an area. For me it was how I use my speech. What I say to others and even to myself. It seemed that when I opened the Bible, there was always a harsh scripture about how we talk. Another point for me was trying to figure out how God could be so good especially after living life and seeing all the heartache in this world not to mention what we as Christians do to one another.
How can we be set free from this terrible feeling? First we must understand that God really is love. We need to search the scriptures for God's true identity (His love). There are good books on the subject. Start to ask God to show you His Love. Ask God to help you follow anything (written, spoken, etc.) as it follows Christ. Don't be surprised if you pray this and all of a sudden you start getting revelation of things that are not lining up to God's Word.
One of the most exciting scriptures in my Bible for me is Proverbs 31:10-31. Now you are probably thinking that I'm just as nuts as can be but give me a chance to explain. I like to imitate God like a child imitates a parent and Romans 4:17 is a scripture that I have applied to my life in this area.
Romans 4:17 (KJV) is as follows: 17(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.
My life was about as far away from Proverbs 31:10-31 as one could imagine. I thought as I read Proverbs 31 that I wouldn't mind being like that. I could use some maids, wouldn't mind buying some real estate, and all the other stuff in this chapter including my husband really appreciating me. Then I began to read those scriptures with my name and my husband's name and child's name into these verses. Over a period of time, I saw things change in my life dramatically.
This is one of the ways that I have become convinced that the words written in the Bible are not just regular words. They are THE WORD OF GOD. God's Word carries power to change your life and your circumstances.
I went from a person who constantly saw the negative things in my life to speaking the good things that God had for me and seeing my life change dramatically. You are more than welcome to disagree with me. That does not bother me a bit. I guess I'm just too old to care. I just know that my life has dramatically changed for the good since I have done this with parts of scriptures that I felt so convicted about. I lost hope when I read scriptures like this because I knew how short I fell in these areas. Then, one day I tried it (thought lightening would strike at first but it did not) instead I was steadily surprised. The first thing I noticed is that I felt better about my life and marriage. The second thing that happened as I did this over time is that some of the scriptures began to mean more to me than I ever thought possible. Finally, one day when I was about to give my husband a piece of my mind for the 20 millionth time, verse 12 rose up in my thoughts and I shut my mouth and let God show me when to speak and when not to speak.
There have been times when I have spoken up when I would normally keep my mouth shut. Some of the things I said were written in hurt deep in my heart for many years. The words came out in balance and in an understandable way. We finally got over some road blocks we had had in our life for years. There have been other times when I am at peace to just let something go.
What is the difference in all of this. The difference is in letting God guide you in what you say instead of you trying to figure it out yourself and make a huge mess out of it. We so many times read the Bible and then take it's execution into our own hands instead of being led by God. I found that for many years I lived my life trying to please my husband only to find out that I was trying to follow my husband instead of God. As it turned out, my husband was not pleased, I was not pleased, God was no where to be found in my actions. This is a part of the curse in Genesis 3:16 (KJV) that God declared to the woman. Funny how this part of the scripture is usually skipped over when this story is told.
Genesis 3:16 (KJV) 16Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.When my desire turned to pleasing God, God intervened in my life and showed me how to not only be pleasing to my husband but to HIM and to myself and others around me. Do I do it perfectly? Not at all, but I know that God is more actively involved in my life and it makes being a frail human much easier to stomach.
Oh, p.s. - Now that I know that God loves me, I know that He will guide me into all things now and in this time in my life. All I have to do is ask. It's so simple and yet so hard because I usually go on autopilot and try to do things myself only to find out that I waste a lot of time not including God in every part of my day. That is when the assurance of His forgiveness covers me thoroughly. Now the Bible for me is filled with possibilities and love. WHAT AN AMAZING BOOK!